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USA folks: Please order by February 7th to ensure Valentine delivery!
International: Please order by January 30th and use Priority or Express Mail.


  • Diesel Sweeties Valentines

    Diesel Sweeties Valentines

    Charles Darwin! Bacon the Pig! Transporter Room 3! Empty the Nihilist! The Emperor!

    All your favorite best buddies are available on heavy duty 4″×6″ full-color, two-sided Valentine cards with bright red envelopes. Five designs in assorted 10-packs (2 of each) or in 3-packs of a single design.

    More info and photos...

    Mens/Womens Please Choose a Size:


  • Pixel Heart Socks

    Pixel Heart Socks

    Love! Life! Videogames! Wear your heart on your sleeve and your hit points on your legs. Available in one-size-fits most for men as well as knee socks for the ladies.

    I produced these with Sock It To Me, a crack squad of foot experts from Portland, Oregon. 75% Cotton, 20% Polyester, 5% Spandex.

    More info and photos...

    Mens/Womens Please Choose a Size:


  • Spicy Cock Delicious Flavor Shirt

    Spicy Cock Delicious Flavor Shirt

    Because Sriracha Makes Everything Better

    In a bland world ruled by lack of flavor … there came a rooster. A hero. A saucy, saucy hero with a mission to save us from boring food. Show your allegiance by wearing his secret symbol.

    One color, lovingly screen printed on American Apparel cranberry, Hanes deep red and Bella cardinal tees.
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    Mens/Womens Please Choose a Size:


  • Secret Kisses Shirt, Tinker The True Love Tortoise Edition

    Secret Kisses Shirt, Tinker The True Love Tortoise Edition

    Making the first move isn’t easy. Lots of people spend years secretly lusting for someone, completely unable to say how they feel. Sometimes these people die alone and unloved!

    This extremely handy t-shirt makes expressing your feelings as easy as hitting a light switch. It also has the bonus ability to be played off “as just a gag” if your intended love winds up not sharing your infatuation. Science prevails!

    Here’s how it works: We print the design in white ink on a black t-shirt. Then, we print OVER the design with white glow ink… except for the secret message.

    When you expose it to a black light or take it into the dark, you can both see the design AND read the message. Sexy Genius.

    Also available in Herschl the Hook-Up Hare edition.

    White & glow-in-the-dark ink on black shirt.

    More info and photos...

    Mens/Womens Please Choose a Size:


  • I Love Robots Shirt

    I Love Robots Shirt

    Last chance for women's shirts. When they're gone, they're gone!

    Technophilia isn’t illegal yet. We’ll leave the judgments on its morality up to you.

    Black edition is available on Hanes Beefy-T and American Apparel Fine Jersey Tees.

    Also available on bumper stickers!

    More info and photos...

    Mens/Womens Please Choose a Size:

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