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Fresh and sparkly! Everything here is new to 2009, the year before we make contact.


  • Icons of Rock Shirt: Zaggy Starbucks

    Icons of Rock Shirt: Zaggy Starbucks

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    There is a very special pig on Mars. We know this because a Spider from Mars spun a web that said so. Opportunity got a picture before Spirit roved into it. First contact probably could have gone better.

    This t-shirt is a low-resolution photograph of the glyphs those Martian Spiders drew us. It is untranslatable in any Earth language.

    Four colors, hand-screened on a myriad of American Apparel Galaxy Blue shirts. It only seemed appropriate. Inspired in part by this comic.

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  • (Happy()Sad) Diagram Shirt

    (Happy()Sad) Diagram Shirt

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Last Call!

    There is a middle road between happy and sad. There is a melancholic math by which we can express it. So much of life exists in this uncomfortable place between cheer and depression. And we wouldn’t want it any other way.

    My friend Ariana was going to do this one print on demand, but my conscience wouldn’t let her. This design demanded the clarity and durability only Dr. T-Shirt’s inky powers could provide.

    Blue, green and yellow ink, hand-screened on a myriad of black shirts.

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  • Bacon is a Vegetable Shirt (maroon)

    Bacon is a Vegetable Shirt (maroon)

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Bacon! Friend to mankind, scourge to mankind’s arteries. 1970s retro vogue meets 1990s retro veganism meets 2000s pre-retro ironicism. Originally presented in this salty, greasy, delicious comic.

    White design silk screened on a maroon Hanes and cranberry American Apparel t-shirts. Also available on purple American Apparel shirts and black aprons.

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  • "Best Before December 21, 2012" Shirt

    "Best Before December 21, 2012" Shirt

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    The end of the Mayan calendar: the world’s first expiration date! Hopefully it won’t be the world’s last date, period.

    White & glow-in-the-dark ink on black shirt.

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  • Clicky the Pixel Squid Socks

    Clicky the Pixel Squid Socks

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Diving bells activate! Oxygen tanks to maximum! Feet to toasty!

    Aquatic green-blue socks with tangy pink-orange, black and white squid pattern. Guaranteed adorable.

    I produced these with Sock It To Me, a crack squad of foot experts from Portland, Oregon. 75% Cotton, 20% Polyester, 5% Spandex.

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  • "Warning! Vehicle Transforms Into Robot" Stickers

    "Warning! Vehicle Transforms Into Robot" Stickers

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    New! Dangerous! Metamorphic! Back in Stock!

    It’s really only fair to let other drivers on the road know that your car, truck, boat, bus, jet, biplane, jetski, locomotive or motorcycle could at any time turn into a huge fighting robot.

    Red and black on white vinyl, professionally silkscreened. 8.5″ × 2.75″.

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  • .CSS { Rules Everything Around Me } Shirt

    .CSS { Rules Everything Around Me } Shirt

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Going, Going, Gone! This shirt is not being reprinted once it sells out.

    Are you O.D.B. with a < DIV >? The GZA of z-index? Stop me before I continue on with some tortured Method Man reference. You know who you are and why you should wear this shirt.

    White & glow-in-the-dark ink on black shirt. Professionally silk-screened by Dr. T-Shirt and his cohorts in the U.S.A.

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  • Cherry Pi Pullover Hoodie

    Cherry Pi Pullover Hoodie

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Pack it up, pack it in… let me begin counting! Pi may be the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter, but to us it’s an infinite dessert bar.

    White, green and red ink on black ink, lovingly silk screened on a black Hanes heavy-duty hooded sweatshirt. Image is approximately 9" across. Also available on t-shirts.

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  • Bacon is a Vegetable Pullover Hoodie

    Bacon is a Vegetable Pullover Hoodie

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Bacon! Friend to mankind, scourge to mankind’s arteries. 1970s retro vogue meets 1990s retro veganism meets 2000s pre-retro ironicism. Originally presented in this salty, greasy, delicious comic.

    White design lovingly silk screened on black Hanes and American Apparel hooded sweatshirts.
    Also available on purple American Apparel shirts and black aprons.

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  • Embroidered Pixel Skull Golf Shirt

    Embroidered Pixel Skull Golf Shirt

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Can’t wear t-shirts to work every day? Grab one of these guys, if you can get past the swarm of Red Robots!

    We got a really good price on a couple dozen of these shirts, so we’re offering them at a super-sweet price to see how you like ‘em. This batch is very limited, but we will carry them at the normal price if they’re popular.

    These are made with American Apparel Cotton Piqué Tennis shirts. AA sizes run a little small, so we recommend ordering a size up if you’re unsure.

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  • Joe Biden Fan Club Shirt

    Joe Biden Fan Club Shirt

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    The world’s first adorable Vice-President? Fun uncle you always wished for? Smooth dude? International foreign policy expert par excellence? Show your love for Barack’s go-to guy by joining his fan club.

    Image is about 6.5" wide and professionally silk screened in grey, white and light blue on 100% cotton black shirts.

    Need more Biden pics? We follow the Biden Daily community on Livejournal for our constant IV drip of Joe.

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  • Invisible Giraffe Shirt

    Invisible Giraffe Shirt

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Do you see a giraffe? I don’t see a giraffe. Giraffes are very good at hiding on Planet Goldenrod. If you do not love giraffes, I recommend having a doctor check to see if someone has stolen your heart.

    Two-color hand-silkscreened print on American Apparel sunshine men’s and women’s tees.

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  • Magic Paint Bucket Microfiber Tie

    Magic Paint Bucket Microfiber Tie

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Splash a little color onto your fancy outfits with this iconic bit of neckwear. One click and it fills to the edges. More colors to come!

    Hand-printed by the Cyberoptix TieLab on microfiber ties. Black ink on aster blue and pink. Standard width ties are 3.75" at widest point. Narrow are 2.75". More info here.

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  • PLUSH ALL HU-MANS Red Robot Squishable

    PLUSH ALL HU-MANS Red Robot Squishable

    Designed by Diesel Sweeties

    Holy cutes! Produced in extremely limited quantities by the fair trade toy gurus at Squishable, this chubby little Red Robot wants to get close to your heart… so he can tear it out with love.


    Please note: These little guys are hand made and have tiny variations from toy to toy. But every single one is awesome.

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