Canadians! I give in to your donuty demands and will be doing a one-week preorder and single print run of this design. It was a surprise hit at the Toronto Comics Art Festival and now can be a surprise hit when you wear it to go buy some Timbits.

Five color print on brown American Apparel men's and women's tees.

Last call! 

Even when I wake up floppy, I wake up flawless. Now you can, too!

Available on Galaxy Blue American Apparel tees. The White ink glows in the dark! Print is about 8" high.

Upload yourself to The Cloud

I haven't had cloud shirts since before the term "The Cloud" was used for storage on the internet. Wrap yourself in Mr. Petabyte's fluffy embrace while you can!

Two-color hand-silkscreened print on American Apparel sky blue men’s and women’s tees.

Last Call! Just a few left.

Have you ever GONE VIRAL? It's OK. We won't tell anyone. The last thing we need is to cause irrational fear and group mania on the internet.

Last Call! Just a few left.

I hope you "heart" and "reboggle" this shirt. Put it on and take it off and pass it to your friends. Give it a fandom. I'm always angry, Cap.

Professionally screen-printed on Galaxy Blue American Apparel tees. The White ink glows in the dark! Print is about 9" wide.

Last Call! Just a few left.

Two color design by the heroic Dylan Meconis on black American Apparel mens 2001, womens 2102, Bella 1001 and Hanes Beefy-Ts. 

Last call! Just a few left.

One color print silk-screened by superhumans onto black Hanes, American Apparel, Gildan and Bella shirts. Limited numbers of most sizes are in stock today, any further orders will be printed by the end of the preorder run.

Gigi Zeitgeist: Woman of today, alien artifact of tomorrow! When she pointed her space telescope towards Earth and saw how much fun her cousin Zaggy Starbucks was having, she just had to get here and join in. She left yesterday from her own relativistic perspective, but took decades to reach us from ours. Poor cousin Zaggy, he used to be the younger one.

Four colors, hand-screened on black American Apparel shirts.

Limited Run! When They're Gone, They're Gone

Please. Oh God. Please? Seriously. I'm so sorry.

White silkscreen on black American Apparel men’s and women’s tees.

 Last Call! Just a few left.

The peaty brain surgeon you can trust to delicately slice away your troubles. Doctor Whisky accepts all popular forms of tribute and only rarely completely ruins lives with a single treatment. 

Last Call! Just a few left.

Clearance! I can't make these shirts anymore or show you the image… but astute pie chart fans will probably remember it from earlier this year or the Big Bang Theory. IN THE FUTURE, all t-shirts will require a knowledge of 1980s video games and basic mathematical concepts. Come live with us in the future… today.

Yellow and white ink, lovingly silk screened on a black shirt. Image is approximately 10" across.

If you wouldn’t argue about it online, why would you waste time doing it in person? Preemptively win all contests of rhetoric by refusing to participate!

Black shirt with red & white text design on the front.

When they're gone, they're gone!

I love this poster. The first slogan for the movie that defined my entire belief system. (Futura is Good, droids are the real heroes.)

This is a limited run and will be pretty much printed to order.

Professionally silk screened on black Hanes 5180, Bella 1001, American Apparel 2001 and 2102 tees. Image is about 11" TALL. White glow ink.

IT'S BACK! Limited Run.

Did you know that approximately 10% of Earth's caffeine passes through my body in a given day? It's probably true. Someone should commission a study.

Two colors on brown American Apparel shirts!

Available on black Hanes Beefy-T and American Apparel Fine Jersey Tees.

HAPPY GREY WEDNESDAY! Just $12 for 24 hours

You did it! You made the best of a shitty situation! Percival Peristalsis, the Positive Poop is proud of you. What better way to tell the world than with this t-shirt?